My Views on Traditional Male Circumcision

WARNING! THIS POST CONTAINS OPINIONS THAT MIGHT BE OFFENSIVE TO MY RELIGIOUS READERS. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED, READ ON AT YOUR OWN RISK. I PROMISE THE POST AFTER THIS WON'T BE AS INTENSE.

For the record, I have been putting off writing this post for a long time. It is a subject that causes me a lot of anger and at the same time I know it will offend many of my readers. But this subject is so very important to me that I had to finally share my opinion.

Imagine you walk into a family's living room. The room is packed with family and friends. Everyone is smiling and having a good time. They are celebrating the birth of a new baby boy. How wonderful! Everyone is mingling, catching up and of course talking about the new baby boy. The proud parents are basking in the company of those close to them and showing off their son to everyone.
"Look how cute he is".
"Isn't he just perfect".
Everyone nods in agreement - that is except for his foreskin.

Than the mohel walks in and the ceremony begins. The baby is passed on a pillow between close friends and family. The designated god-father is the last one to be handed the baby. The mohel comes to the baby and opens the diaper and starts saying a series of prayers.
The mohel's objective is to remove the baby's foreskin as a sign of the covenant between the Jewish people and "god". The foreskin contains more than 20,000 specialized nerve endings, making it the most sensitive area on any human, boy or girl. The foreskin is fused to the penis glans, or head, much in the same way a fingernail is fused to a finger and must be torn off. Once the foreskin is separated, a clamp is often used to protect the glans so that the foreskin and all of its nerves can be cut off. After this there are a few things that can happen.

In the ultra-orthodox world, the mohel will use his mouth to suck some blood from the open wound, which he will than spit out. This practice is known as mitzitza be'peh, or sucking by the mouth. This is an extremely archaic and extremely dangerous (not to mention horrifyingly inappropriate and disgusting) practice. It causes the death of tens of babies every year, due to infections passed from the adult mohel, to the victim. This dumb practice that is only legal because it is part of a religious ceremony was dropped by most non fundamentalist streams of Judaism because it is so dangerous. Instead, the mohel will most often use a glass tube to draw some of the blood out.

After this blood sacrifice, the baby is given a name, making him a full member of the Jewish nation and everyone eats some more in celebration of this "wonderful" event.

In my opinion this is THE most horrific thing practiced in Judaism today. Simple facts: A baby just had the most sensitive part of his body cut off in sacrifice to some deity that he has not chosen. No one asked this young baby if he wanted to donate 40%-60% of the skin of his penis to a "god" of which he never heard. This baby will now live the rest of his life with a very much desensitized penis. The once internal and protected glans, which is the most sensitive remaining part, is now unprotected and over exposed. It will constantly rub against clothing for the rest of the baby's life and will develop a callus in a process called keratinization causing further loss in sensitivity. Many circumcisions, are cut very tightly causing discomfort during erection. When this baby becomes a middle-aged man, he will be 60% more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

I know many of you are thinking, "but I was always told it was healthy". Yes, we were all told that, but it was a lie. The main "health risk" of the foreskin is infection because the person did not keep themselves clean. In today's day and age, when we can all shower very often, it is very very easy to keep the body and the foreskin clean. Even if it was not that easy, you just don't slice off a part of a body because its hard to clean. And of course, the number one "health benefit" that people love to preach about is that it lowers the risk of catching HIV when having unprotected sex. But do you know what really lowers the risk of HIV? NOT HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX! But the Catholic Church and other religious fundamentalists are very anti condoms, so they would rather have people slice up their genitals than "god forbid" wear a condom.

Since the risks and damage greatly out ways any once thought to be real benefit, the only real reason to do this unnecessary procedure is religion. And it is wrong for the person who's foreskin is in question to not have any say in the matter. If an adult male is so dedicated to his faith that he would like to have his penis mutilated, he is free to do that. But the unnecessary mutilation of a baby's penis without his permission is simply wrong.

I know what a sensitivities subject this is to religious and non religious Jews alike. This is a core part of their Jewish identity. When I first came across these facts, I was encouraged to research the matter on my own so that I could prove all these claims wrongs. I was sure that all the new information I had just learned was part of sum anti-Semitic conspiracy. But the more I read, the more i learned it was all true and the more horrified I became by the practice.

 I always say that as much as I disagree with religion, everyone should have the right to practice the religion of their choice, as long as they are not hurting anyone. Well, in this case, every single boy comes out hurt, and damaged for life. This is a horrible practice that should be reexamined and stopped.

Here are some links that you might find interesting:
50 Reasons to Leave it Alone
An Open Letter to Mohel Michael Henesch
Cut is a documentary about circumcision from a Jewish perspective. I highly recommend it.

Zionism, Nationalism and all the Jazz

I was brought up with what I would call a very "radical" Zionist, world view and values. My parents were admirers of the slain extreme right-wing leader Meir Kahane. The short version of the "Kahanist" world view is as follows.
1. "God" gave the land of Israel to the Jewish people and we must retake it by force to bring the messiah.

2. The world is divided into two groups, Jews and those that hate or will hate Jews.

3. The Jewish government of Israel should be based on Jewish religious law.

4. There is no place for non Jews in Israel.
When people would sit around and discuss how we thought the Israeli-Palestinian conflict could be solved, me and my family would paraphrase Kahane and say "the nice ones (Arabs) can leave on air conditioned buses". Growing up, I believed in this world view 100%.

As I wrote before, I moved to Israel at 17 to fulfill the Zionist mission. I wanted to join the army and fight Israel's enemies. I voted for political parties that advocated the transfer of Arabs from Israel as part of a finale "peace" plane. I believed anyone that did not agree with the world view that I was brought up with was at best not a real Zionist, and at worst a traitor. Radical Zionism was a huge part of my upbringing and a huge part of who I was. My feeling of Israeli nationalism was second to none.

When I first told my parents that I was no longer religious, one of the first things they said to me was, "so you are no longer a Zionist?!" I was hurt by this accusation. Of course I was still a Zionist. I thought that was such an absurd thing to say. What did god have to do with nationalism? There were plenty of secular Zionists in Israel. Israel was built by secular Zionists. Nationalism exists in literally every country on earth and often has little or nothing to do with religion.


But as time passed, and I started to apply my new rational, humanistic and realistic values to more and more topics, my feelings of nationalism faded. I stopped seeing the world as divided into arbitrary groups. What is the difference between a Jew, an Arab, a German, or an Indian? We are all human. I do not feel a need to only be around people that are similar looking to me, or have a similar social/genetic background. There are non Jews in the world that I love very dearly. Why am I less connected to them than I am to some Jewish person living far away from me that I never met?


I realize now that my parents were right, religion was an important part of my Zionism for two reasons. The first reason was that it gave me the "Jews vs. the world" attitude. Second, it allowed me to believe that there was an end to the conflict. I believed that if Israel just did x,y and z, the messiah would come and everything would be perfect. Today, I realize that as long as the conflict is about who's fairy tails are more "accurate", the conflict will never end.


So where do I stand today? I do think that Israel has a right to exists and should exist. Sadly most of the world still sees humanity as divided into different groups; nations, religions, races, ethnicity, etc. These make-believe divisions are the sources of many wars, conflicts and genocides around the world. If Israel did not exists, Jews would be a lot more vulnerable to another genocide, just like the many genocides that happened through out the history of the Jewish religion. However, this does not justify Israel mistreating Arabs or any other non Jews. I think that as long as religion is such a powerful force in the Middle East and the world, this conflict will never end. And frankly, I think that shows how pathetic humanity is sometimes.

A Dangerous New Trend

In the last few weeks there has been a disgusting (yet not surprising) new trend among some of Israel's "elite" to publicly trash gays. The first shot was fired my a member of the Kenneset (Israel's parliament) named Anastassia Michaeli. She said that most gays were abused as children and grow up as depressed people who commit suicide by the age of 40. She also expressed alarm at the fact that her children can hear about gays when they watch TV. A few days later, another member of the Kenneset by the name of Uri Ariel called on the Israeli Military to stop enlisting gays. His idea is that since "god" wants to kill gays, it is dangerous for them to be around heterosexual soldiers.

It is obvious to anyone with even a tinniest bit of intelligence that the statements made by these two parliamentary is nothing but absolute stupidity. Michaeli could simply see the large number of gays that are around and in public life above the age of 40 and the HUGE amount of gays that were never sexually abused and know that she is wrong. But facts are not that important to someone that just wants to spew hate. And for a religious man, Ariel does not have much faith in his god's aim. Apparently he is worried that he will miss when trying to smite a homosexual and hit a straight soldier. (Never mind the fact that "god" also wants to kill people that don't keep the sabbath and the majority of soldiers in the army do not). But just because both of these people are ridiculously dumb individuals, does not mean that there fame does not give them influence.

In our society, for better or worse, when famous people speak everyone listens. When US President Barak Obama said that he supports marriage equality, polls showed a rise in support for marriage equality across African American communities. That was the "for the better" part. The "for the worse part" comes through in articles like this one in Israel after the two homophobic MKs made their opinions public: "Whoever Does Not Fight Their Lust, How Can They Fight Against The Enemy".

The article is in Hebrew, so I will summarize it for my readers that do not read Hebrew. Basically the article says that the army is for winners and gays are inherently losers because they have given into their evil urges. And this article was not published by some extreme "ultra-orthodox" or hassidic website. The website that published this hateful trash is a "modern-orthodox", "main stream", "down to earth" website. But homophobia in the parliament has empowered the haters to come out and spread their poison - and hate tends to spread very quickly.

Why can't people disagree and disapprove of something/someone without trying to harm those they disagree and disapprove of? I do not like religion, but I would never claim it should be outlawed or that religious people should have less rights. Why do those people that disapprove of homosexuality constantly try and make LGBTQ people second class citizens, if not criminals?

Ms. Michaeli, if you do not want your children to know about homosexuality, you are more than welcome to move to Iran. And as for Mr. Ariel, gays fight and die in the army the same way heterosexuals do. I was a "lone soldier" and served in the tank corp. I served 3 years in the army (more than many "god fearing" soldiers serve) and always did what I was commanded to the best of my ability. I was even sent into Lebanon in 2006. My homosexuality never had an effect on anything or anyone. But don't let facts get in the way of your stupidity and bigotry.

"Let's Celebrate Our Freedom" - Post Parade Report

What a wonderful Pride Day (it was Friday the 8th of the month, but I am only finding time to write about it now). I arrived at the starting grounds at Gan Meir in Tel Aviv with my friend Jessica at about 1230pm. The place was packed and full of wonderful energy. The first thing I did was buy a Rainbow flag and than we met up with some other friends and a group people that were interviewing me and filming me for a school project. One of the real treats of the day was that my great friend Long, whom I have written about about in previous posts (and who is straight) was in Israel and came along to show his support. At about 1pm we started to march.

Me and my flag at Gan Meir

Starting to March

The parade was an amazing experience. Around 100,000 people marching, smiling and having fun. There was no hate and no counter protests. Just tens of thousands of people celebrating their pride, joined by their friends, families and supporters. Watching all the smiling faces, the drag queens, the happy couples, the eccentrically dressed people, one could not help but feel celebration and joy in the air.

Tziona Patriot and Talula Bonet

Marchers on stilts

Supportive onlookers 

The view of the parade from above

The parade ended at the beach, where there was a massive party and concert. Everywhere you looked there were people (and many of them gorgeous ;)) dancing and having a good time. On stage, DJs, dancers and drag queens took turns entertaining and energizing the crowd. One of the highlights of the day came during the concert. The wonderful drag queen Talula Bonet was on stage, dancing to the music. She called out a few times, "Everyone raise your hands. Everyone raise your hands." Than she said "Let's celebrate our freedom". With those words, an energy went through the crowd. Everywhere you looked people were dancing, cheering and waving rainbow flags in the air. My friend Long looked at me with an expression of awe on his face and said, "that was really cool". And that is why we were all there. The Middle East is a war torn area of the world and a haven for hate, radicals and fundamentalists. But not Tel Aviv. Tel Aviv is the one major city in the entire region where a parade like this could have taken place. It is the one city where LGBTQ people could come together and celebrate their freedom, and not have to demand it.

Talula and some back up dancers on stage at the beach

What made the day even more special for me was that I got to share it with friends that I love. This was my first pride parade and it really meant a lot to me. Most of my friends that were there with me are straight, but they came out to show their support. Even the friends that got lost in the huge crowd and that I did not get to spend much time with, seeing them for just a little bit meant a lot. So to my dear friends, I just want to say thank you. It was a day I will never forget :)

Me and my friends Nadav, Gavy, Jessica and Long
at the beach party

Happy Pride Month

Its now June and in Tel Aviv that means it is "Pride Month". The city is covered in rainbow flags and tourist from around the globe descend on the city. Since last year Tel Aviv was named the world's number one gay destination, I imagine this year will be bigger than ever. More tourists, more events, more parties, more fun.

However, is Pride Month supposed to be about parties? A friend pointed out to me that the Pride Parade (and Pride Month) are not supposed to be about good times and parties. My friend told me that the real Pride Parades with meaning are in Jerusalem and Haifa. He have said that Tel Aviv has lost the meaning behind these important events. When I was told this, it made me think. As the readers of my blog know, I am very aware of the importance of gay pride. I have written about it in previous posts. Am I wrong for looking forward to all the fun? Did Pride Month in Tel Aviv really lose its meaning?

After thinking about these questions for a bit, I came to the conclusion that Tel Aviv is simply ahead of Jerusalem, Haifa and other conservative cities. When you walk down the street in central Tel Aviv, chances are you will see two men or two women walking and holding hands. They can do this without fear of being attacked or ridiculed. (This is true for the most part. There are always going to be a few hateful nuts out there). The mayor and the city council are proud and supportive of the city's LGBT population. In honor of Pride Month, the city is covered with rainbow flags and even a cross walk was given a makeover in a sign of solidarity. Tel Avivan's are a bit spoiled by the openness and tolerance of their city. There isn't a need to demand acceptance, because they have it.

While the situation in Tel Aviv might be great, this is not the case for the rest of the country. Tel Avivans should remember that they do not live in a bubble and that the fight for acceptance and tolerance in the rest of the country is still an uphill battle. 

A mere 50 minute drive down Highway 1, Jerusalem is the polar opposite of Tel Aviv. In Jerusalem, the pride parade is extremely controversial. Every year the police wonder if they could guarantee everyone's safety. "Religious leaders" from Islam, Judaism and Christianity stop fighting each other and unite behind their mutual hatred of gays. In Jerusalem, LGBT people must take to the streets and show that they will not be chased away or forced to hide who they are. They must show that they are not ashamed of who they are.

But while the fight for acceptance rages on in the rest of the country, I think it is OK for Tel Aviv to celebrate the progress made over the years. After all, Tel Aviv was not always the oasis of tolerance that it is now. It truly is amazing that in an area of the world like the Middle East where gays are put to death in 5 near by countries, a city like Tel Aviv exists. My advice to those that see a lack of meaning in Tel Avi's Pride month is to party in Tel Aviv, but also take the time to travel to a city like Jerusalem and march in their parade as well. Enjoy what you have in Tel Aviv and than try and bring it to the rest of the country. 

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! :D

My Complicated Relationship with my Parents and the American Elections

My parents took my leaving the religious Jewish life style very badly. At first there was a lot of crying, screaming and some nasty things were said. For about a year and a half after I told them, things were very awkward between us. They kept me in their lives because they loved me, but they were terrified that any of their friends might find out that I was not religious. So while I knew they loved me (and they told me this often), I also felt that they were embarrassed by me and ashamed of me.

After this difficult and harsh reaction, I expected the worse when I told them I was gay. But my parents surprised me. While this news was very hard for them to handle, they knew that it was not something they could change and that since they wanted me in their life, they would have to figure out a way to live with me being gay. And today, I am happy to say that my relationship with my parents is better than it has been in years. We get along well and are able to spend a lot of time together. Not everything is perfect. They obviously still do not want their friends and our extended family to know that I am not religious or that I am gay, but I have made my peace with that issue. It is their problem, not mine. But all in all, for the first time in years, I feel comfortable and no longer out of place when I am with my parents.

The one subject that seems to get me very uncomfortable and pretty upset when talking with my parents is actually the US presidential elections. My parents are hardcore Republicans. They believe Obama is utter evil and his election would mean "the end of democracy in America". While I am no fan of Obama and cannot imagine that I would ever vote for him, I could also never vote for Romney and the Republicans. How could I vote for people that campaign on hate? How could I vote for someone that supports amending the US Constitution with a homophobic clause?

I know that you all must be thinking, "just don't talk politics". But the politics are just the microcosm. What really hurts me is that my parents can support someone that says I should NEVER be able to marry who I love (FYI, Romney is also against civil unions). I really hope that one day I will be lucky enough to find a guy that loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and that I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. It hurts to know that my parents would not want to see any such relationship recognized at marriage. It hurts to know that they would want that written into the law. It is beyond my understanding how my parents can love me as much as they do and still support such a law. I cannot fathom how millions of people around the country that I have never met, could be fighting for my (and of course millions of other's) right to marry and my own parents that love me would be against it.

I know my parents are Orthodox Jews and that Orthodox Judaism will never recognize gay marriage. Frankly, I do not care. If you believe in some bronze age book of myths and rules that cannot change, that is your right. But the government does not work off that book. The US government is suppose to be about freedom and equality before the law. So just like my parents would recognize any man and woman they know as civilly married if some judge said it was so, I would hope they could do the same for me. But that is not the case. Any love that me and some guy might share someday, will never be good enough in my parents eyes to receive the title "marriage" and I do not understand why.

The Nonsensical "Values" of Conservatism

According to the Torah, the Jewishness of a child is determined by the father. I know that many of readers will be surprised to read that because today everyone knows that a child's Jewishness is determined by the mother. But if you were to read the Torah, you will see that the many lists of different character's lineage only contain men. Women/mothers did not enter the writer's heads. So what changed? When the Roman Empire conquered Ancient Judea, it became very common for Roman soldiers to rape Jewish women. When a married woman was raped, there was no way of knowing if her child was her husband's or the Roman soldiers. So the Rabbis of the time decided to switch the determining parent from the male to the female.

I know that must surprise many of my readers as well. Rabbis at one point in history actually decided to change and adapt. For thousands of years Judaism revolved around the Temple in Jerusalem. When the Temple was destroyed, the Rabbis once again adapted and changed the religion to survive. All this happened before the idea of "conservatism" was invented (I am referring to the general social/political idea and attitude. Not to be confused with the Conservative religious sect of modern Judaism). 

Today conservatives around the world, Jewish and not Jewish believe that change must be fought. They believe they have certain practices, certain ideas or "values" and any discussion that things might have changed over the last tens, hundreds or thousands of years is simply wrong. But if people had always thought this way, their religions that they love so much would have died out hundreds or thousands of years ago. The world is always changing and smart people know how to learn and adapt where as conservatism insists on staying the same and refusing to adapt as if their attitude will stop time from passing. 

Today religious Jews are absolutely panicked about intermarriage and "assimilation". If a Jewish man marries a non Jewish woman, his bloodline and his lineage are lost to the Jewish people and any children he fathers with his non Jewish wife will not be Jewish. They believe that if this growing trend continues, Judaism as they know it and accept it will disappear. However, since history shows that the Rabbis can and have switched the determining parent between the man and the woman in the past, wouldn't it make sense for Rabbis to say it is enough that one parent be Jewish? Than there would be no danger of their religion vanishing. But their conservative mind set tells them that they cannot bend. The world must not change and their religion must not change. 

A few days ago, 40,000 ultra-orthodox Jewish men went to a rally at Citi-Field in New York to listen to Rabbis warn them about the dangers of the internet. These Rabbis commanded their followers to avoid the internet and warned them that it is evil. (Obviously new technologies and unrestricted access to knowledge is very dangerous to ultra-Orthodox Judaism). One Rabbi, Rabbi Wachsman told the crowd that whoever did not follow these new edicts and bands on the internet would not be able to get into heaven. 

Obviously, I really don't care if people believe Facebook and Gmail will stop them from getting into fantasy "wonderland".  But I must ask again, why be so conservative? Why would the ultra-Orthodox not use the internet to communicate between communities around the globe and share ideas on their religion? There is no value to this kind of conservatism. 

The same conservative attitude is causing all the grief in America over gay marriage. The conservative says that "marriage has always been between one man and one woman and therefore cannot change". Ignoring the fact that that statement is in no way whatsoever even slighly historically accurate, why can't marriage change? Through most of history, marriage was all about producing children. Today marriage is about love. So why can't the "institution" adapt and include the love of two men or two women? If you don't agree with gay marriage, than don't have one. But how does it affect you if someone else does? What do conservatives gain by telling people no?